Being Perfectly Imperfect
Does everything you do have to be perfect? How much does it bother you when things go well but did not attain the outcome that you desired? If you hate mistakes and never seem to be satisfied with "good" or even "great," you are probably struggling with perfectionism. While having high standards is wonderful and being motivated to improve is admirable, longing for perfection can lead to an unhealthy self-esteem and can damage relationships since perfectionists are never satisfied with themselves or others.
Life is not meant to be perfect but it is meant to be good. The definition of excellence is "extremely good" or "outstanding." When you are obsessed with perfectionism, even excellence falls short of your standards. The first step in being perfectly imperfect is learning to appreciate and celebrate what is excellent or simply good. Enjoy having done well without dwelling on what could have been better.
Everyone has their ideals. It is good to have a clear image of exactly what you want and to strive for that image. It is important, however, to consider reality. This is not to say that you should lower your standards or stop trying to achieve as much as you can, but what this means is that you need to set goals that are realistic. It might be painful to take a hard look at your weaknesses and flaws, but they are a part of reality. Rather than stubbornly determine to go after an impossible goal, get to know and accept yourself and start small.
Work hard and do your best. You may actually find that you will be happier and more successful if you can appreciate the "work in progress" status of your life.
Be more understanding of other people's faults. Even the most wonderful friends and members of your family will let you down eventually. Be forgiving and let them know that it is quite alright to make mistakes, as it is human nature. Rather than express disappointment, encourage your loved ones to improve.
There is nothing wrong with setting standards and expressing expectations to others. It can be problematic, however, to demand constant excellence without room for error. While you may have the best of intentions for pushing somebody to become better, your perfectionist attitude might be counterproductive. Be realistic in your expectations and understand the weaknesses of others.
We are all subjected to temptation and free will. You must therefore be prepared when others fall short of what you desire for them and understand that your ideal for another person may not be the same as theirs. The best thing that you can do for someone you care for is to be supportive. Criticism is much more effective if it is coming from a supportive and encouraging person.
You can be perfectly imperfect. Aim to appreciate less than perfect achievements and situations in your life while still moving forward. Accept that step by step, you and others can progress over time. The trick is to enjoy the journey. There is no need to suffer constant disappointment because of perfectionism. Learn to embrace your imperfections and those of others and you will be a much happier person.
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